Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.