the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction