Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
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I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."