her vagine was all disorganized.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
