So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
