What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
