Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
