But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
