wanna go halves on a baby?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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