WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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