Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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