Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
