here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
