Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
