He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
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So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
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Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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