I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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