Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
