Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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