Pants 0. Shit 1.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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