well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
