a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Never underestimate the power of titties
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