I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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