i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
