So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
