Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
