Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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