oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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