Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize