Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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