That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize