we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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