sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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