hotel room ftw
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
