Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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