I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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