I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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