Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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