so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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