FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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