i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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