I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
not ubering you a puppy
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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