last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
