Where is the hickey?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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