I will die if light touches me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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