I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
