When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I need water and some morals
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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