Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
