Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
