i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
