she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish i was in the wii world.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
