I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
