I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
