Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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