imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
