Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
