i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
