I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
