Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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