did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
