Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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